Dating Is Wrong, Here’s How We Fix It
Don’t Just Use Others For Your Own Benefit
Do you date someone simply to use them? That was the question that a few friends and I decided to discuss late one friday night.
The view of what it means to be in a relationship has been washed down to a husk of it’s former self. In our modern world, you have to ability to choose and leave partners as you please, with no consideration made towards the other human being. Heck, if you want to, just have two partners, or go on meaningless sexual escapades — It can’t hurt, can it?
Why Dating Is Immoral
- Dating Is False Commitment: In our current age, when two people begin dating, there is often no ultimate goal of marriage beyond the casual nature of the relationship. You get to play at being a husband or a wife without actually ever taking the step and formally accepting the role. Thus, you use another person until they are no longer pleasant to have around or you get bored of them.
- Modern Dating Treats People As Commodities: People are essentially traded and thrown to the wayside if they no longer fulfill the requirement set by their partners. If a woman refuses to give her boyfriend sex, then she is seen as a prude and he has the full right to simply leave her.
- Lying Through Your Actions: By acting in a way that is indicitive of a husband or wife but never actually delivering on that non-verbal promise or never undertaking the duties assigned to those roles, you are lying to the person who you claim to love.
- Dating Is Driven By Lust, Not Love: Do you really love your partner? You might say that to others, or even say it to their face, but do you really understand what that means? I would argue that love is the choice by which we place someone else’s needs before our own. It is when we choose what is best for another person over our own desires. My challenge to you is the following; Do you really love your partner like that? I urge you to examine your life and your relationship and see whether or not that is true for you.
How We Can Fix It
I will preface this by saying that these are not steps to take in order to have a happy and healthy relationship. Instead, this is how we as a society should aprroach dating in contrast to the method which is commonly practiced.
- Date To Marry: When entering into a relationship, view it as a vetting process for marriage. That way, you avoid playing at the roles of a husband and wife and you have an ultimate goal to strive for. You also don’t have the ease of simply deserting your partner when times get rough because the two of you are actively working towards a lifelong commitment.
- Consider Your Partner Above All Else: Remember, you are aiming to marry this person. Therefore, it is in your best interest that you take care of them. You do this by actively doing what is best for them and forsaking your selfish desires. The trick is, that this goes both ways — You can’t only have a single party acting correctly.
- Act Appropriately: Reserve what is appropriate for marriage for marriage. This includes sexual intimacy and cohabitation. Do not lie to your partner about your status in relationship to them through your actions. If you claim to love them, be honest with them.
Please remember that this is only a brief overview of what I believe could be done to improve the dating climate. I will urge each and every one of you reading to do further research and come to your own conclusion.
