How To Socialize
A Guide For Dummies
“Get off that damn phone and go talk to some people”.
— Mom
I remember sitting down at a bench for the first time and attempting to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I was fourteen, and an awkward mess — so enthralled in what the other person could potentially think of me.
Now things are different. I might not have reached the level where I can have people hang onto every word I utter, but I’m fairly confident and content with my ability to socialize and mingle with my fellow humans. I also have big muscles now, so that helps.
It’s A Skill, Not A Talent
Now, I’m not denying that there are some people who came out the womb and had the ability to win over a crowd, but if you’re reading this, that probably isn’t you.
Being social is a skill, and like with almost all skills, you must practice. You are never going to get good at socializing if you sit in your room all day.
I’m not advocating that you go out and approach random strangers — there are easier ways to practice. Go to some sort of social gathering related to an interest you have. There are ample opportunities to talk to people out there, you just need to find them. I, for example, go to a youth group on Friday evenings, Church services on Sundays, and wrestling training throughout the week.
The key is to use these opportunities to go out and meet new people with the safety of a common interest.
How To Actually Talk To People
- Take A Genuine Interest In The Other Person: If you only take away one thing from this article, let it be this point. The key to social success is ultimately being interested in other people.
Simply put, people crave to feel important. When you go that extra mile and ask them questions about something that they are passionate about, or when you ask for their opinion on something, it makes them feel important — and feeling important is the currency of popularity. - Smile: I know it seems trivial, but a genuine smile can change the dynamic of an entire conversation. It puts people at ease — as long as it’s genuine and not some maniacal grin.
What has greatly helped me, is to think about a moment that made you genuinely happy and then use that to fuel your smile as you enter into the conversation. - It’s Okay To Use The Basic Phrases: When you walk into a room and want to strike up a conversation with someone, you don’t have to come up with some ingenious phrase to win them over. Instead, a simple “Hello” or “Hi” will suffice, accompanied by a smile and a handshake. You are allowed to ask people how their days are going, what they are studying, or even what they are interested in. As long as you are genuinely interested, you can use any number of ‘basic’ phrases to get your foot in the door.
- Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously: If you make a mistake like mumbling or tripping over your words, acknowledge it, laugh, and move on. Don’t try and deny it or make excuses.
Ultimately, you are bound to make mistakes, so you might as well handle them in a way that makes people enjoy your company. Humility is, of course, one of the greatest virtues.
Finally, this is by no means a completed list of every single possible tip for social success. These are simply some things that I’ve learnt and am passing on to you.
I urge you to go out into the world and see what works for you. I hope you’ve managed to glean something from what I have said.
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