You Shouldn’t Be In A Rush To Get Married
So, you’re looking for a wife. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate.
“But I don’t want to!”
— You, Probably
Marriage Doesn’t Define You
In previous articles, I’ve extensively discussed how I believe that marriage at a young age is a good thing. However, there are some pitfalls that we as young, aspiring husbands fall into.
A few weeks ago, I was walking to church with a friend of mine and we had a discussion pertaining to this exact topic. What I gleaned from it is that many young, Christian men fall into the trap of falling in love with the idea of being a husband, or they view it as an obligation — something that they must do in order to be considered ‘Chrsitian enough’.
Firstly, being a husband is a tremendous responsibility and should not be taken lightly. Therefore, it is imperative that you do your research and make sure that you know exactly what it means. Secondly, being single is a perfectly acceptable path to take as a Christian man. It is not wrong of you to undertake a life without a partner (see 1 Corinthians 7:7).
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should not aspire to be married. I would simply advise you to not make it the central focus of your life — that should be reserved for God. That being said, you should still dedicate time to the topic if you are serious about it.
If You Still Desire To Be Married, Here’s What You Should Do
- Get A Realisitic Idea Of What Marriage Entails: Marriage is not what is portrayed in Disney movies. It is your duty to make sure that you understand the immense responsibility that comes with entering into a marriage with a woman. Do your research and make sure that you know what you want.
- Don’t Idolize Marriage: As I discussed in previous paragraphs, it is essential that you do not turn marriage into the central focus of your life. It is very important that you understand that marriage (or a relationship) will not remedy any of your grievances. Desire to get married because it is what you want, not because you think that it will somehow fix your life.
- Get To Know Someone: If you are serious about marriage and you find someone that you can see yourself living this life with, it is important that you have the difficult and personal conversations upfront before you even enter into a relationship with that person. In order to get a better idea of how to do this, consider reading this article:
- Examine Yourself: There are many bad reasons to get married. You must take the time to ask yourself if your reasoning behind your desire is a good or a bad one. For example, wishing to be married simply to escape loneliness is not kind or loving towards someone else because you are merely using them as a way to climb out of your own sad hole.
Finally, I would encourage all of you to be responsible in your decision pertaining to your future spouse. Don’t rush into marriage for the wrong reasons and risk hurting them. Gain understanding and take the time to fully understand the responsibility that you wish to undertake.
I would urge all of you to keep reading and looking for answers.
