Young Christian Men, Do This Before You Get Married
So, you’ve found the girl you want to marry. Perfect, let’s make sure that you can be the best possible husband to her.
Over countless conversations I have had with my friends, I have noticed that many of them desire to become husbands as quickly as humanly possible. However, I would argue that many of them are not yet fit to take on that role. I am not saying that they should abandon their ambitions; what I am saying is that there are a few steps to take before popping the question.
Does This Apply To Me?
Whether you are currently in a relationship or only aspiring to be in one, what I have to say is applicable to you. Why? Because it was applicable to me before I was in a relationship, and now that I am in one.
What Should I Do?
- Learn to Lead Spiritually: It is your job to effectively communicate core and essential Christian values to her. I am not saying that you need to become a Doctor of Theology, but what I am saying is that you need to know your Bible. You need to understand, on an intimate level, what it means to be a Christian, and then you need to learn how to communicate that to her.
- Be Willing to Love Sacrificially: I had a long conversation with a friend regarding what exactly love is. From that week-long discussion, the most important aspect is the choice to place someone before yourself. Ultimately, that is what you are doing in a relationship — you are placing what is best for her above everything else. This does not mean that you must obey her every beck and call, or that you need to leave her when times get rough. It does mean that what is best for her comes before any of your wants, and that you are willing to sacrifice what is dear to you in order to do what is best for her.
- Learn to Communicate Effectively: Learn to speak about everything. If something bothers you, say it; don’t keep it all bundled up inside. However, that does not mean that you become an emotional wreck; it does mean that you learn how to effectively explain your needs and concerns to her in a kind and, most importantly, loving way.
- Learn Patience and Resilience: If you are serious about marriage, then there are going to be late nights where the two of you will have to stay up into the early morning discussing concerns and worries. You will have to learn how to deal with and understand another human being on an intimate level. There are going to be challenges, and you are going to get upset, but it is your duty to never take that out on her.
- Learn to Speak Against Wrong: There are going to be times when the two of you make mistakes, whether that be caving into your sexual desires or saying hurtful words to one another. It is your responsibility to stand up and set a boundary, or to take a step back and examine the situation before continuing.
My brothers, we really need to step up our game when it comes to preparing for marriage, and I hope that you found what I had to say beneficial. I wrote this to young men, not young women — The intention of this article is to offer some insight to my fellow brothers.
Lastly, I would urge anyone reading this to delve deeper into this topic. These are simply a few things I have learned from being in a relationship with the woman I would like to marry and are by no means a comprehensive list.
